Adjective Clause.
Adjective Clause.
This is the house that jact built.
principal clause(main) = adjective clause
that jact built เป็น dependent clause ชนิด adjective clause เพราะทำหน้าที่ adjective ขยายคำนามใน main clause ซึ่งอยู่ติดกันนั่นคือ the house Adjective clause จะขึ้นต้นด้วย "relative" เช่น
who, whom, whose, which, that, where etc. ทำหน้าที่เชื่อมระหว่าง clause
Who
1. แทนคน
2. Subject
เชื่อมประโยค
I met a boy. That boy knows you.
1. คน เมื่อเปลี่ยนเป็น adj. clause จะใช้ who แทน that boy
2. Subject
สรุปโครงสร้าง who + verb
Whom
1. แทนคน
2. object
เชื่อมประโยค
1. I met the boy. You know him.
(1. คน 2. object ของ verb เมื่อเปลี่ยนเป็น adj. clause จะใช้ whom แทน him)
2. That girl is diligent. I went to speak to her.
(Object ของ preposition "to"จะใช้ whom แทน her)
สรุปโครงสร้าง Whom + subject + verb
Whom + subject + verb + ----- + preposition
หมายเหตุ
1. สามารถ "whom" ได้
2. สามารถย้าย "preposition" ไว้หน้า relative ได้
I met the boy you know.
That girl I want to speak to is diligent.
That girl to whom I want to speak is diligent.
Whose
1. แสดงความเป็นเจ้าของ
2. เป็นทั้ง Subject และ Object
เชื่อมประโยค
1. The girl comes from Ubot. Her hair is dark and long.
1.1 แสดงความเป็นเจ้าของว่าเป็นของ "ผม"ของผู้หญิง
1.2 Her hair เป็น subject
เมื่อเปลี่ยนเป็น adj. clause จะใช้ whose แทน her
The girl whose hair is dark and long comes from Ubol.
สรุปโครงสร้าง Whose + noun + verb
2. The man is handsome. We stayed at his house.
2.1 แสดงความเป็นเจ้าของว่าเป็น "บ้าน" ของผู้ชาย
2.2 his house เป็น Object
The man whose house we stayed at is handsome.
สรุปโครงสร้าง Whose + noun + Subject + verb
Which
1. แทนสัตว์ และสิ่งของ
2. เป็นทั้ง Subject และ Object
เชื่อมประโยค
3. The dog is named Dick. It is barking at the cat.
3.1 สัตว์
3.2 Subject
เมื่อเปลี่ยนเป็น adj. clause จะใช้ which แทน it
The dog which is barking at the cat is named Dick.
สรุปโครงสร้าง Which + Subject + Verb
Which + Subject + Verb + .... + preposition
หมายเหตุ
1. สามารถละ "which" ซึ่งเป็น object ได้
2. สามารถย้าย "preposition" ไว้หน้า relative ได้
The book I left on the table is very interesting.
The palace the king lives in is very large.
The palace in which the king lives is very large.
that
1. แทนคน สัตว์ สิ่งของ
2. เป็นทั้ง Subject และ Object
สรุปใช้แทน who, whom และ which
This is the house that jact built.
principal clause(main) = adjective clause
that jact built เป็น dependent clause ชนิด adjective clause เพราะทำหน้าที่ adjective ขยายคำนามใน main clause ซึ่งอยู่ติดกันนั่นคือ the house Adjective clause จะขึ้นต้นด้วย "relative" เช่น
who, whom, whose, which, that, where etc. ทำหน้าที่เชื่อมระหว่าง clause
Who
1. แทนคน
2. Subject
เชื่อมประโยค
I met a boy. That boy knows you.
1. คน เมื่อเปลี่ยนเป็น adj. clause จะใช้ who แทน that boy
2. Subject
สรุปโครงสร้าง who + verb
Whom
1. แทนคน
2. object
เชื่อมประโยค
1. I met the boy. You know him.
(1. คน 2. object ของ verb เมื่อเปลี่ยนเป็น adj. clause จะใช้ whom แทน him)
2. That girl is diligent. I went to speak to her.
(Object ของ preposition "to"จะใช้ whom แทน her)
สรุปโครงสร้าง Whom + subject + verb
Whom + subject + verb + ----- + preposition
หมายเหตุ
1. สามารถ "whom" ได้
2. สามารถย้าย "preposition" ไว้หน้า relative ได้
I met the boy you know.
That girl I want to speak to is diligent.
That girl to whom I want to speak is diligent.
Whose
1. แสดงความเป็นเจ้าของ
2. เป็นทั้ง Subject และ Object
เชื่อมประโยค
1. The girl comes from Ubot. Her hair is dark and long.
1.1 แสดงความเป็นเจ้าของว่าเป็นของ "ผม"ของผู้หญิง
1.2 Her hair เป็น subject
เมื่อเปลี่ยนเป็น adj. clause จะใช้ whose แทน her
The girl whose hair is dark and long comes from Ubol.
สรุปโครงสร้าง Whose + noun + verb
2. The man is handsome. We stayed at his house.
2.1 แสดงความเป็นเจ้าของว่าเป็น "บ้าน" ของผู้ชาย
2.2 his house เป็น Object
The man whose house we stayed at is handsome.
สรุปโครงสร้าง Whose + noun + Subject + verb
Which
1. แทนสัตว์ และสิ่งของ
2. เป็นทั้ง Subject และ Object
เชื่อมประโยค
3. The dog is named Dick. It is barking at the cat.
3.1 สัตว์
3.2 Subject
เมื่อเปลี่ยนเป็น adj. clause จะใช้ which แทน it
The dog which is barking at the cat is named Dick.
สรุปโครงสร้าง Which + Subject + Verb
Which + Subject + Verb + .... + preposition
หมายเหตุ
1. สามารถละ "which" ซึ่งเป็น object ได้
2. สามารถย้าย "preposition" ไว้หน้า relative ได้
The book I left on the table is very interesting.
The palace the king lives in is very large.
The palace in which the king lives is very large.
that
1. แทนคน สัตว์ สิ่งของ
2. เป็นทั้ง Subject และ Object
สรุปใช้แทน who, whom และ which
Relative Clause
Relative Clause
Use relative clauses to provide extra information. This information can either define something (defining clause), or provide unnecessary, but interesting, added information (non-defining clause).
Relative clauses can be introduced by:
•a relative pronoun: who (whom), which, that, whose
•no relative pronoun: Ø
•where, why and when instead of a relative pronoun
You need to consider the following when deciding which relative pronoun to use:
•Is the subject or object or possessive of a relative clause?
•Does it refers to a person or an object?
•Is the relative clause a defining or non-defining relative clause?
NOTE: Relative clauses are often used in both spoken and written English. There is a tendency to use non-defining relative clauses mostly in written, rather than in spoken, English.
How To Use a Defining or Non-Defining Relative Clause
The information provided in a defining relative clause is crucial in understanding the meaning of the sentence.
Example:
The woman who lives in apartment No. 34 has been arrested.
The document that I need has 'important' written at the top.
The purpose of a defining relative clause is to clearly define who or what we are talking about. Without this information, it would be difficult to know who or what is meant.
Example: The house is being renovated.
In this case it is not necessarily clear which house is being renovated.
Non-defining Relative Clauses
Non-defining relative clauses provide interesting additional information which is not essential to understanding the meaning of the sentence.
Example: Mrs. Jackson, who is very intelligent, lives on the corner.
Correct punctuation is essential in non-defining relative clauses. If the non-defining relative clause occurs in the middle of a sentence, a comma is put before the relative pronoun and at the end of the clause. If the non-defining relative clause occurs at the end of a sentence, a comma is put before the relative pronoun.
NOTE: In defining relative clauses there are no commas.
Use relative clauses to provide extra information. This information can either define something (defining clause), or provide unnecessary, but interesting, added information (non-defining clause).
Relative clauses can be introduced by:
•a relative pronoun: who (whom), which, that, whose
•no relative pronoun: Ø
•where, why and when instead of a relative pronoun
You need to consider the following when deciding which relative pronoun to use:
•Is the subject or object or possessive of a relative clause?
•Does it refers to a person or an object?
•Is the relative clause a defining or non-defining relative clause?
NOTE: Relative clauses are often used in both spoken and written English. There is a tendency to use non-defining relative clauses mostly in written, rather than in spoken, English.
How To Use a Defining or Non-Defining Relative Clause
The information provided in a defining relative clause is crucial in understanding the meaning of the sentence.
Example:
The woman who lives in apartment No. 34 has been arrested.
The document that I need has 'important' written at the top.
The purpose of a defining relative clause is to clearly define who or what we are talking about. Without this information, it would be difficult to know who or what is meant.
Example: The house is being renovated.
In this case it is not necessarily clear which house is being renovated.
Non-defining Relative Clauses
Non-defining relative clauses provide interesting additional information which is not essential to understanding the meaning of the sentence.
Example: Mrs. Jackson, who is very intelligent, lives on the corner.
Correct punctuation is essential in non-defining relative clauses. If the non-defining relative clause occurs in the middle of a sentence, a comma is put before the relative pronoun and at the end of the clause. If the non-defining relative clause occurs at the end of a sentence, a comma is put before the relative pronoun.
NOTE: In defining relative clauses there are no commas.
Noun Clause
Noun Clause
A noun clause that functions like a noun in a sentence, but the meaning is not complete in itself, it has to be connected to the main meaning of a sentence is Noun Clause. And beginning with question words such as how, what, which, where, why, who, whom, whose, and usually starts with “that” in a sentence.
Examples
The bulletin states that English courses require a laboratory period.
The teacher explained how the sentences are formed.
Function of the Noun Clause
1. A noun clause can be a subject of a verb
What Billy did shocked his friends.
What he did is really strange.
Your word is not important.
2. A noun clause can be an object of a verb
Tom wants to know where the student cafeteria is.
I have forgotten what the teacher told me.
Billy’s friends didn’t know that he couldn’t swim.
3. A noun clause can be an object of a preposition.
Mary is not responsible for what Billy did.
We only laughed at what she said.
She is ignorant of what her son did.
4. A noun clause can be a complete sentence.
This is how I made my cake.
The fact is that she is poor.
5. A noun clause can be a complex of nouns or pronouns.
The news that you heard isn’t true.
It is unfortunate that you don’t get the scholarship.
A noun clause that functions like a noun in a sentence, but the meaning is not complete in itself, it has to be connected to the main meaning of a sentence is Noun Clause. And beginning with question words such as how, what, which, where, why, who, whom, whose, and usually starts with “that” in a sentence.
Examples
The bulletin states that English courses require a laboratory period.
The teacher explained how the sentences are formed.
Function of the Noun Clause
1. A noun clause can be a subject of a verb
What Billy did shocked his friends.
What he did is really strange.
Your word is not important.
2. A noun clause can be an object of a verb
Tom wants to know where the student cafeteria is.
I have forgotten what the teacher told me.
Billy’s friends didn’t know that he couldn’t swim.
3. A noun clause can be an object of a preposition.
Mary is not responsible for what Billy did.
We only laughed at what she said.
She is ignorant of what her son did.
4. A noun clause can be a complete sentence.
This is how I made my cake.
The fact is that she is poor.
5. A noun clause can be a complex of nouns or pronouns.
The news that you heard isn’t true.
It is unfortunate that you don’t get the scholarship.
Adverb Clause
Adverb Clause is clause that functions as a adverb that expand to verb, adjective and adverb.
Adverb Clause is divided into nine types.
1 Adverb Clause of Time is a clause that has functions that expand to indicate times such as when, whenever, while, before, after, as soon as, since, until.
As it was late, we went home.
I will wait here until you allow me to come in.
2 Adverb Clause of Place is a clause that has functions expand to a verb that explain to places such as where, wherever.
You may go wherever you want.
She hid her money where nobody could find it.
3 Adverb Clause of Manner is a clause that has functions expand to a verb that explain to manners such as as if, as though.
He acted as if he were a millionaire.
She wrote the letter as she was told.
4 Adverb Clause of Comparison is a clause that expand to adverb or adjective for indicate the comparative adjectives such as ... .. as, so ... ... as, than.
Can you send me your application form as soon as possible?
Laura didn’t do so well in the exam as she had hoped.
5 Adverb Clause of Cause or Reason is a clause that expand to a verb or an adjective for indicate reason or clause such as because, since, as, for.
They moved to London because they wanted to stay with their parents.
She ran away for she was afraid.
6 Adverb Clause of Purpose is a clause that expand to a verb for indicate purpose such as so that, in order that.
She works hard so that she can get more money for her children.
He came here in order that he might see his boss.
7 Adverb Clause of Result is a clause that expand to a verb, adjective and adverb such so……….that, such……….that.
New cars are so expensive that some employees buy used ones.
She is such a polite girl that everybody likes her.
8 Adverb Clause of Condition is a clause that expand to a verb for indicate condition such as if, unless, provided that, on condition that.
If she comes, I will tell her the truth.
Unless he works harder, he will fail.
9 Adverb Clause of Concession is a clause that expand to a verb or adjective for indicate concession such as though, although, however, whatever.
Although she is fat, she can run quickly.
Whatever help you give them, they will never thank you.
Adverb Clause is divided into nine types.
1 Adverb Clause of Time is a clause that has functions that expand to indicate times such as when, whenever, while, before, after, as soon as, since, until.
As it was late, we went home.
I will wait here until you allow me to come in.
2 Adverb Clause of Place is a clause that has functions expand to a verb that explain to places such as where, wherever.
You may go wherever you want.
She hid her money where nobody could find it.
3 Adverb Clause of Manner is a clause that has functions expand to a verb that explain to manners such as as if, as though.
He acted as if he were a millionaire.
She wrote the letter as she was told.
4 Adverb Clause of Comparison is a clause that expand to adverb or adjective for indicate the comparative adjectives such as ... .. as, so ... ... as, than.
Can you send me your application form as soon as possible?
Laura didn’t do so well in the exam as she had hoped.
5 Adverb Clause of Cause or Reason is a clause that expand to a verb or an adjective for indicate reason or clause such as because, since, as, for.
They moved to London because they wanted to stay with their parents.
She ran away for she was afraid.
6 Adverb Clause of Purpose is a clause that expand to a verb for indicate purpose such as so that, in order that.
She works hard so that she can get more money for her children.
He came here in order that he might see his boss.
7 Adverb Clause of Result is a clause that expand to a verb, adjective and adverb such so……….that, such……….that.
New cars are so expensive that some employees buy used ones.
She is such a polite girl that everybody likes her.
8 Adverb Clause of Condition is a clause that expand to a verb for indicate condition such as if, unless, provided that, on condition that.
If she comes, I will tell her the truth.
Unless he works harder, he will fail.
9 Adverb Clause of Concession is a clause that expand to a verb or adjective for indicate concession such as though, although, however, whatever.
Although she is fat, she can run quickly.
Whatever help you give them, they will never thank you.
Valentine's Day
Saint Valentine's Day, commonly shortened to Valentine's Day,is an annual commemoration held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions.[1][3] The day is named after one or more early Christian martyrs, Saint Valentine, and was established by Pope Gelasius I in 496 AD. It was deleted from the Roman calendar of saints in 1969 by Pope Paul VI. It is traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as "valentines"). The day first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.Modern Valentine's Day symbols include the heart-shaped outline, doves, and the figure of the winged Cupid. Since the 19th century, handwritten valentines have given way to mass-produced greeting cards.
Historical facts
Numerous early Christian martyrs were named Valentine.[5] The Valentines honored on February 14 are Valentine of Rome (Valentinus presb. m. Romae) and Valentine of Terni (Valentinus ep. Interamnensis m. Romae).[6] Valentine of Rome[7] was a priest in Rome who was martyred about AD 269 and was buried on the Via Flaminia. His relics are at the Church of Saint Praxed in Rome,[8] and at Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in Dublin, Ireland.
Valentine of Terni[9] became bishop of Interamna (modern Terni) about AD 197 and is said to have been martyred during the persecution under Emperor Aurelian. He is also buried on the Via Flaminia, but in a different location than Valentine of Rome. His relics are at the Basilica of Saint Valentine in Terni (Basilica di San Valentino).[10]
The Catholic Encyclopedia also speaks of a third saint named Valentine who was mentioned in early martyrologies under date of February 14. He was martyred in Africa with a number of companions, but nothing more is known about him.[11]
No romantic elements are present in the original early medieval biographies of either of these martyrs. By the time a Saint Valentine became linked to romance in the 14th century, distinctions between Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni were utterly lost.
In the 1969 revision of the Roman Catholic Calendar of Saints, the feast day of Saint Valentine on February 14 was removed from the General Roman Calendar and relegated to particular (local or even national) calendars for the following reason: "Though the memorial of Saint Valentine is ancient, it is left to particular calendars, since, apart from his name, nothing is known of Saint Valentine except that he was buried on the Via Flaminia on February 14." The feast day is still celebrated in Balzan (Malta) where relics of the saint are claimed to be found, and also throughout the world by Traditionalist Catholics who follow the older, pre-Second Vatican Council calendar. February 14 is also celebrated as St Valentine's Day in other Christian denominations; it has, for example, the rank of 'commemoration' in the calendar of the Church of England and other parts of the Anglican Communion.
VERSE
***************************************************************
Not strange if you see some of them have all day long with quarrel.
Not strange if you see some of them always sweet…
And not strange if some of them are cold and distant to each other.
And it’s normal if you see some of them have too much different love,
seeming the sky and the land.
ไม่แปลกที่บางคู่อาจทะเลาะกันทั้งวัน
ไม่แปลกที่บางคู่อาจหวานให้แก่กันได้ทั้งวัน
และไม่แปลกที่บางคู่ต่างเฉยชาต่อกัน
และก็คงไม่แปลกเลยที่บางคู่อาจต่างกันราวฟ้ากับดิน
You're not wrong to love him.
And, it’s not also his wrong, if he doesn't love you back.
By the way, you're not wrong if you don't love him.
And not his wrong if he loves you.
Forbid heart from falling in love is hard to do.
But... It's not comparable with Forbid heart to forget love, because it's so hard to do.
คุณไม่ผิดที่ไปรักเขาคนนั้น
และเขาเองก็คงไม่ผิดที่ไม่ได้รักคุณ
ในทางตรงข้าม คุณไม่ผิดที่ไม่ได้รักเขาคนนั้น
และเขาก็ไม่ผิดที่มารักคุณเช่นกัน
การห้ามใจไม่ให้รักนั้นยากนัก
แต่คงเทียบไม่ได้กับการห้ามใจให้ลืมรักเพราะย่อมยากกว่า
********************************************************************
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To hope is to risk pain.
To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken,
Because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
การที่ได้รักคือการเสี่ยงว่าจะไม่ได้รับความรักเป็นการตอบแทน
การตั้งความหวัง คือการเสี่ยงกับความเจ็บปวด
การพยายามคือการเสี่ยงกับความล้มเหลว
แต่ยังไงก็ต้องเสี่ยง เพราะสิ่งที่อันตราาย ที่สุดในชีวิต ก็คือ การไม่เสี่ยงอะไรเลย
No man or woman is worth your tears and the only
one who is, will never make you cry.
ไม่มีชายหรือหญิงคนไหนมีค่าพอที่คุณจะต้อง
เสียน้ำตาให้ ส่วนคนที่มีค่าพอนั้น
เขาย่อมที่จะไม่มีวันทำให้คุณร้องไห้อย่างเด็ดขาด
**********************************************************************
Not strange if you see some of them have all day long with quarrel.
Not strange if you see some of them always sweet…
And not strange if some of them are cold and distant to each other.
And it’s normal if you see some of them have too much different love,
seeming the sky and the land.
ไม่แปลกที่บางคู่อาจทะเลาะกันทั้งวัน
ไม่แปลกที่บางคู่อาจหวานให้แก่กันได้ทั้งวัน
และไม่แปลกที่บางคู่ต่างเฉยชาต่อกัน
และก็คงไม่แปลกเลยที่บางคู่อาจต่างกันราวฟ้ากับดิน
You're not wrong to love him.
And, it’s not also his wrong, if he doesn't love you back.
By the way, you're not wrong if you don't love him.
And not his wrong if he loves you.
Forbid heart from falling in love is hard to do.
But... It's not comparable with Forbid heart to forget love, because it's so hard to do.
คุณไม่ผิดที่ไปรักเขาคนนั้น
และเขาเองก็คงไม่ผิดที่ไม่ได้รักคุณ
ในทางตรงข้าม คุณไม่ผิดที่ไม่ได้รักเขาคนนั้น
และเขาก็ไม่ผิดที่มารักคุณเช่นกัน
การห้ามใจไม่ให้รักนั้นยากนัก
แต่คงเทียบไม่ได้กับการห้ามใจให้ลืมรักเพราะย่อมยากกว่า
********************************************************************
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To hope is to risk pain.
To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken,
Because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
การที่ได้รักคือการเสี่ยงว่าจะไม่ได้รับความรักเป็นการตอบแทน
การตั้งความหวัง คือการเสี่ยงกับความเจ็บปวด
การพยายามคือการเสี่ยงกับความล้มเหลว
แต่ยังไงก็ต้องเสี่ยง เพราะสิ่งที่อันตราาย ที่สุดในชีวิต ก็คือ การไม่เสี่ยงอะไรเลย
No man or woman is worth your tears and the only
one who is, will never make you cry.
ไม่มีชายหรือหญิงคนไหนมีค่าพอที่คุณจะต้อง
เสียน้ำตาให้ ส่วนคนที่มีค่าพอนั้น
เขาย่อมที่จะไม่มีวันทำให้คุณร้องไห้อย่างเด็ดขาด
**********************************************************************
Giving Alcohol As A Gift Can Have Disastrous Consequences
By Abigail Van Buren Abigail Van Buren – Thu Jan 27, 2:08 am ET
DEAR ABBY: You advised "Susan in Southern Oregon" (Dec. 1), who asked about the appropriateness of giving alcohol as a gift at an office party, that "the only time that alcohol would be an inappropriate gift is when the giver knows the recipient doesn't use it." As a former psychiatric social worker, I would say that the only time alcohol would be an appropriate gift is when the giver knows the recipient would use it, and do so responsibly.
People aren't always forthcoming about their views and experiences regarding alcohol, so it's best to play it safe. Many people abstain from alcohol because they are recovering alcoholics or have seen the devastating results that alcoholism has had on a loved one's life. Others have religious reasons for not imbibing.
Giving alcohol as a gift may not only dismay the recipient, it could also lead to worse results if the giftee is someone who is struggling to stay sober. -- AMY IN DOVER, DEL.
DEAR AMY: You have raised many valid points. Most of my readers disagreed with my answer, and their reasons have made me reconsider my advice to Susan. I was wrong. (Mea culpa.) Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Imagine receiving a bottle of alcohol after growing up in a home with an abusive father who drank. Not only would you not want it, you wouldn't want to give it to anyone else. Imagine receiving a bottle of alcohol after having lost a child in an automobile accident caused by a drunk driver. Would you want that reminder, or would you want to regift it to someone who might get drunk with that bottle and cause someone else's death? -- JOE IN BIRMINGHAM, ALA.
DEAR ABBY: Many alcoholics choose not to reveal their disease. It is called Alcoholics Anonymous for a reason. A person may have been in recovery for many years and may not wish to tell anyone except close family and longtime friends.
A gift of alcohol would be a temptation to any recovering alcoholic, one that is hard to resist. The mind can easily rationalize: "It was a gift. I might as well get rid of it. I can share it with others, so it's not so bad." The slope grows steeper from there. -- ANONYMOUS IN SAN ANTONIO
DEAR ABBY: Have you any idea what it is like to get knocked across a room because you asked your daddy to play with you? Have you seen your Christmas tree knocked over because your mother and father were having a fistfight?
My father owned one of the largest businesses in our town. We belonged to the country club. Yet my parents died in poverty because of alcohol. Of the four siblings, I am the only one who doesn't have an alcohol abuse problem.
I am frequently asked to attend functions so I can be the designated driver. I think the slogan "Friends don't let friends drink and drive" should be changed to "Real friends don't try to shift their responsibility." -- A SURVIVOR IN LAS VEGAS
DEAR ABBY: Twenty years ago, I would have agreed with your answer. I am the president of a construction company, and it was standard practice for us to give alcohol at Christmas to a number of our customers.
Then one day, I received a call from a tearful woman who asked if we had given alcohol to her husband. When I answered yes, she said that in the future, she would appreciate it if we wouldn't do that anymore. Her husband, an alcoholic, had consumed the entire bottle, gone home and beaten her up. We discontinued the practice immediately.
I would not advise people to gift alcohol unless they know the recipient very well and know it will not cause harm to him or her, or those around them. -- SAFER IN TENNESSEE
DEAR ABBY: You advised "Susan in Southern Oregon" (Dec. 1), who asked about the appropriateness of giving alcohol as a gift at an office party, that "the only time that alcohol would be an inappropriate gift is when the giver knows the recipient doesn't use it." As a former psychiatric social worker, I would say that the only time alcohol would be an appropriate gift is when the giver knows the recipient would use it, and do so responsibly.
People aren't always forthcoming about their views and experiences regarding alcohol, so it's best to play it safe. Many people abstain from alcohol because they are recovering alcoholics or have seen the devastating results that alcoholism has had on a loved one's life. Others have religious reasons for not imbibing.
Giving alcohol as a gift may not only dismay the recipient, it could also lead to worse results if the giftee is someone who is struggling to stay sober. -- AMY IN DOVER, DEL.
DEAR AMY: You have raised many valid points. Most of my readers disagreed with my answer, and their reasons have made me reconsider my advice to Susan. I was wrong. (Mea culpa.) Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Imagine receiving a bottle of alcohol after growing up in a home with an abusive father who drank. Not only would you not want it, you wouldn't want to give it to anyone else. Imagine receiving a bottle of alcohol after having lost a child in an automobile accident caused by a drunk driver. Would you want that reminder, or would you want to regift it to someone who might get drunk with that bottle and cause someone else's death? -- JOE IN BIRMINGHAM, ALA.
DEAR ABBY: Many alcoholics choose not to reveal their disease. It is called Alcoholics Anonymous for a reason. A person may have been in recovery for many years and may not wish to tell anyone except close family and longtime friends.
A gift of alcohol would be a temptation to any recovering alcoholic, one that is hard to resist. The mind can easily rationalize: "It was a gift. I might as well get rid of it. I can share it with others, so it's not so bad." The slope grows steeper from there. -- ANONYMOUS IN SAN ANTONIO
DEAR ABBY: Have you any idea what it is like to get knocked across a room because you asked your daddy to play with you? Have you seen your Christmas tree knocked over because your mother and father were having a fistfight?
My father owned one of the largest businesses in our town. We belonged to the country club. Yet my parents died in poverty because of alcohol. Of the four siblings, I am the only one who doesn't have an alcohol abuse problem.
I am frequently asked to attend functions so I can be the designated driver. I think the slogan "Friends don't let friends drink and drive" should be changed to "Real friends don't try to shift their responsibility." -- A SURVIVOR IN LAS VEGAS
DEAR ABBY: Twenty years ago, I would have agreed with your answer. I am the president of a construction company, and it was standard practice for us to give alcohol at Christmas to a number of our customers.
Then one day, I received a call from a tearful woman who asked if we had given alcohol to her husband. When I answered yes, she said that in the future, she would appreciate it if we wouldn't do that anymore. Her husband, an alcoholic, had consumed the entire bottle, gone home and beaten her up. We discontinued the practice immediately.
I would not advise people to gift alcohol unless they know the recipient very well and know it will not cause harm to him or her, or those around them. -- SAFER IN TENNESSEE
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